Be My Valentine

Valentine’s Day is upon us once again. Which in our house means there will be obscene amounts of candy consumed over short periods of time. My husband has a killer sweet tooth! He is really big into candy hearts, I only eat the white ones. I have an obsession with anything mint flavored,spearmint or peppermint, makes no difference to me. That’s a lie, I think I like spearmint a little more.

Anyway, every year we sit and debate for several weeks what we would like to do for the big day. We talk about booking a hotel room somewhere and getting away from everything for a few days, we also talk about going out to fancy dinners, and we have a conversation that always involves flower delivery options. All these things sound like they would be wonderful ways to express how we feel about each other. But every year we scrap all the ideas and the planning, and we end up doing the same thing over and over.

About 3 years ago we started a tradition of staying home to celebrate the day of love, and we spend our time in the kitchen. We started finding new recipes to try and we spend the evening putting them together and pairing them with some of our favorite wines. So far we have not had any issues with the recipes, they have all been successful and delicious. We then will sit on the couch and watch a movie. We either rent one through the cable company, or we buy one. Some movie choices have been better than others, last year we rented Deadpool, and I know everyone thought it was one of the greatest movies of the year, but I thought it was mediocre. Don’t get me wrong I love Ryan Reynolds, and his delivery of his characters lines was perfect, I just didn’t think the movie had much substance to it. I feel the same way about Suicide Squad but that’s another story.

So we have spent the last few years at home. I have to say that it is really a wonderful way to spend the “holiday” We have created a space for ourselves to learn something new with each other and enjoy each other’s company. Not that we need a special day set aside for those things, but because it is centered around a holiday I think it sticks out in our minds easier. We always have the conversation about valentine flowers being sent to me at work, and as nice as it is and as much as they would be appreciated, I always tell him it is not necessary. He shows me he loves me 364 days out of the year, receiving flowers on one day is not going to make me question his feelings. If it does we are in trouble and need to reevaluate some things…

It is interesting to me that we all put so much pressure on valentine’s day, when we should be putting just as much pressure and thought into the other 364 days out of the year. Why do we choose this one day to show appreciation to the ones we love? Why do we feel the need to be in competition with each other when we show these acts of love? Always feeling like we need to do something bigger and better than the other person, or the previous year…I don’t understand it. My mom once told me to not engage in the competitiveness because most of the time I am going to lose anyway. The men always out do the women and we should just say thank you and be sincere. This advice has also helped our house a lot around Christmastime.

Let’s face it, Valentine’s Day is geared mostly towards women anyway. So instead of beating yourself up over what to do for the man in your life, just be sincere and appreciative of him and his gift to you. My husband always tells me men are simple creatures, a simple thank you or I love you is usually all they are looking for.

This year we will be trying out a new recipe, I haven’t decided what yet. But I have faith that it will be delicious. I also have no idea what movie we are going to watch. But I also have faith that it will be something we will enjoy.

Valentines Day is for spending time with your significant other and enjoying each other. So this year I hope you are able to take the stress out of the equation and just enjoy the day. If you are  a couple that exchanges gifts, remember it is not a competition and it is not a measurement of how you feel about each other. If you do not exchange gifts, remember being sincere and being appreciative of each other are gifts you can exchange everyday!


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